January 2012
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30	31

Search:
Category: Site & User FAQ Site Region Interest Username Email Gizmo/LJ Talk AIM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Jabber

Heaven and Earth don't play favourites
They treat everything with equal detachment.
Sages don't play favourites
They treat good people and bad with equal detachment.

Heaven and earth are like a set of bellows.
Although empty, they are endlessly productive.
The more you work them, the more they produce.
The mouth, on the other hand, becomes exhausted if you talk too much.
Better to keep your thoughts inside you.

---

Military strategists have a saying:

"Rather than act like the lord of the manor,
I would rather behave like a guest.
Rather than advance an inch,
I would rather retreat a foot."

The point of the saying is that you should:

Advance upon them without going forward
Seize their property without even bearing arms.
Attack where there is no enemy.
Prevail upon them without weapons.

There is no greater disaster than to underestimate your enemy.

If I did that, I would lose my 3 treasures (benevolence, frugality, never trying to be number one)
In combat, the most reticent side will win.

The following fourfold attitude to life's vicissitudes and in all relationships, being conducive to peace of mind, enables one to overcome the distractions of the mind:
(1) friendliness towards pleasure or those who are pleasantly disposed to oneself (friends),
(2) compassion for the sorrowful, and, when one is in a painful condition, self-forgetful sympathy for those who may be in a similar painful condition,
(3) rejoicing in the exaltation of the noble or the holy ones, and
(4) indifference to unholiness, not being drawn into it nor holding others in contempt for their unholiness.

I believe that it is very useful or important to have a nonreligious way of approaching a nonbeliever in order to give him peace of mind. The majority of the world’s population of six billion people has little interest or seriousness when it comes to religion. That majority, that group of people, has a greater influence on society—or a more important role in society—than those who are religious do.

I get the impression that when people are not much interested in religion they also neglect values like compassion, a sense of sharing, a sense of caring—all the things that people consider to be a religious message and reject. That’s a mistake. These are secular ethics, not a religious message, and they are for everyone. Everyone can understand that being human, you want a happy life, a happy family, to be a happy individual. But material things will not provide you with genuine inner peace or inner happiness. Human values are essential. We must find a way to present basic human values to everyone—and present them not as religious matters but as secular ethics that are essential whether you are religious or not.

Preteens/teenagers have different behavioral standards and they do not have mature social skills. So literally, something that an adult would dismiss (e.g. a small comment or overly long look) are taken very much to heart by people of this age group -- on both sides. These emotionally charged perceptions and actions loom large in the youthful way of looking at the world, more so than parental or authoritarian warnings! All it takes is one comment or "look" and the problem is off and running again. This is made even more likely because there is a strong urge to have "the last word" at this age. A "last word" that reignites the whole problem. One should also *never* underestimate the urge to taunt or "rub it in" that youths have after an authority has ruled. Again, it works both way, whether "neener neener neener! You got in trouble!" or the "I'll get you yet!", both attitudes continue the problem after adult intervention.

All it will take is a chance meeting and a "look" and the situation erupts again -- with both parties convinced that they were the "wronged," the other person started it and they did nothing to instigate the problem. And from their perspectives, that is exactly what happened, the other person started it. This combination of self-delusion, emotional and social immaturity makes it very difficult to determine what really happened vs. what was their perception of what happened. Even a child who is being "bullied" will usually have engaged in some sort of "verbal escalation." What an adult would view as establishing boundaries, an aggressive teen would consider an insult and justification for further action. It is these immature perceptions that will determine their course of action, not rational discourse or commonsense.

(Excerpted from a page on www.No Nonesense Self Defense.com [spaces added so it doesn't stretch my free text area] titled "Zero Tolerance and your child")

art, beta filter, dreams, education, extrospection, family, humor, introspection, life, ljers4president, love, memories, music, nathaniel, pictures, polls, private reference, sexuality, video games, writing, 中文